The hole.

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SamuraiJack
Posts: 10043
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 11:56 am


I really shouldn't bother under the principle of casting your pearls before swine and what have you, and floggin a dead horse, but what the fuck.

One day the horse may speak.

So this knobwrench found himself in a hole. The great radiant dragon Ming Lung become Ri Lung, the courser in the void, he who stands naked and fearless in the void said

"Hey, the hole's not actually that big. All you have to do is stand up."

"But it seems so deep! I don't even want to think about that I am in a hole, because then...then I'd realise that I was in a hole and I'd been in a hole for a while! And it's so hard to get out!"

"Really. Well. Here's how it is. Because in you're in the hole, you can't see anything else. You've tried shutting your eyes to ignore it, but, you're still in the fucking hole. Because you're in the hole, you can't see that it isn't that deep. But me? I'm not in the fucking hole, and I'm standing up. I can see you, and all you have to do is stand up, take a step, and you're out of the hole. Work it the fuck out."

"My god! You're right!" said the knobwrench, and sat quietly in his hole stupified into self satisfaction at what he thought was the transmission of mighty Dharma. The great one, the courser in the void, looked and thought "What a fucking knobwrench."

Time went by. Years passed.

"Oh noes!" Said the knobwrench "The hole is so much deeper now!"

"Uh, no it fucking isn't you spastic." Said the great courser in the void "It just seems like it's bigger and deeper because you've been in it longer. It's actually....exactly the same size. Again, all you have to do is stand up and take a step. But now you have a rather insane fear in your head. You think that if you stand up, you'll have to face all that time that you've wasted, and all the opportunities that you've missed. Well. I have some bad news for you. That's utterly correct. Here's the worse news. You can't stay in the hole forever. You either stand up, or sooner or later, it's going to rain and you're going to drown in mud and filth. So. Choose. Stand up, or die in the fucking mud. The choice IS your's, but don't fucking drivel about it being too hard when you haven't even bothered to fucking try yet you stupid cunt."

The great courser in the voide, then turned upon his heel and walked on. Either the knobwrench would get out and follow, or not. But it was hardly up the great courser in the void to keep checking on the poor knobwrench.

It just doesn't work that way.

 

flurohero
Posts: 2296
Joined: Mon May 12, 2003 9:12 pm


i like going to bookstores and observing the growing display areas of expensive fast selling lucrative"self help" titles,then watching people perusing them and examining their visible symptoms!

 

SamuraiJack
Posts: 10043
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 11:56 am


Really? It creeps the shit out of me. There's a bookstore on glebe point road called Phoenix Rising or something, it used to have some decent books.

Now it's all fucking drivel. I can't say I'm surprised, but I was dissapointed.

 

tripn
Posts: 6721
Joined: Mon Aug 05, 2002 5:28 pm


hehe. you should right a book of parables. or at least edit an existing book of parables to include the words fuck and cunt in each sentence.

 

MeowTron
Posts: 1071
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:20 pm


i like holes..

HI SJ!!! :wave:

 

infinafta
Posts: 4100
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2002 1:19 pm


"You have to live in your own reality... I had a girl once tell me I was kind of pudgy. I said, 'Well, if thats what you think, you don't get to pat the Buddha belly or ride the jade stalk'. But, I said it in a gentle fucking way, on the spiritual fucking path."
Steve P.

 

Darkone
Posts: 680
Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2005 7:02 pm


^^ Fukn LOL

:D

IM A CHARGIN MAH LAZERS!!!!!!!!111111111111ELEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

SamuraiJack
Posts: 10043
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 11:56 am


Why the fuck do I even bother?

 

Armhand Andspanner
Posts: 100
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2007 4:15 pm


Well i'm listening. Its good.

 

Pure__Ignorance
Posts: 198
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:21 pm


Only The great courser in the voide would be relishing his own greatness and achievments when compared to people who sit in holes, most of us with more balanced perspective realise that we are all in the hole to some level, pointing out others failings just takes us deeper.

Nah, I'm just being a Cockwrench SJ :) I like this insight of yours, it feels very apt for my current situation (somehow I think it may be apt for just about any situation). And I've grown very fond of your classic method of beating idiots over the head with wisdom. Please don't ever stop, there is so little REal comedy in here.

Though If I really did want to poke fun at you I'd probably just congratulate you on your persistence in trying to show others the way. You are one very compassionate person and I tip my hat to you. You are so nice!

 

simon
Posts: 2944
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2001 8:33 pm


Darkone wrote :
^^ Fukn LOL

:D

IM A CHARGIN MAH LAZERS!!!!!!!!111111111111ELEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!


i herd u liek mudkips?

 

SamuraiJack
Posts: 10043
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 11:56 am


Pure__Ignorance wrote :
Only The great courser in the voide would be relishing his own greatness and achievments when compared to people who sit in holes, most of us with more balanced perspective realise that we are all in the hole to some level, pointing out others failings just takes us deeper.
You fucking weakling.
Pure__Ignorance wrote :
Nah, I'm just being a Cockwrench SJ :)
Here's an idea. Don't.
Pure__Ignorance wrote :
I like this insight of yours, it feels very apt for my current situation (somehow I think it may be apt for just about any situation). And I've grown very fond of your classic method of beating idiots over the head with wisdom. Please don't ever stop, there is so little REal comedy in here.


If you were a bit smarter you would have realised that I already have stopped.
Pure__Ignorance wrote :
Though If I really did want to poke fun at you I'd probably just congratulate you on your persistence in trying to show others the way. You are one very compassionate person and I tip my hat to you. You are so nice!


No, that wouldn't be poking fun at me, that would just be making yourself look stupid.

 

Darkone
Posts: 680
Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2005 7:02 pm


simon wrote :
Darkone wrote :
^^ Fukn LOL

:D

IM A CHARGIN MAH LAZERS!!!!!!!!111111111111ELEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!


i herd u liek mudkips?


am it teh mudkip tiem ?

MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

 

simon
Posts: 2944
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2001 8:33 pm


Darkone wrote :
simon wrote :
Darkone wrote :
^^ Fukn LOL

:D

IM A CHARGIN MAH LAZERS!!!!!!!!111111111111ELEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!


i herd u liek mudkips?


am it teh mudkip tiem ?

MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111



[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sK3AqFYAWQ]
WIN!!!!!!!!1one1eleven[/url]

 

tripn
Posts: 6721
Joined: Mon Aug 05, 2002 5:28 pm


SamuraiJack wrote :
Why the fuck do I even bother?


if your expecting people who gained some insight from what you wrote to publicly praise you for it then you will probably be dissapointed. however i dont see why that, or the expected drivel from people who dont care, should discourage you from posting good things.

 

Pure__Ignorance
Posts: 198
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:21 pm


Don't you love coincidence? This Hole thing reminded me of the Simpsons episode that ends with everyone digging for the cat burglar's treasure under the big 't' and they realise they're stuck. You know, and Homer says:

"I know! we'll DIG our way out!"

And then Chief Wiggins says "No, No! Dig UP, stupid!"

And then Last night The boy was watching The Simpsons and guess what episode it was?

 

SamuraiJack
Posts: 10043
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 11:56 am


tripn wrote :
SamuraiJack wrote :
Why the fuck do I even bother?


if your expecting people who gained some insight from what you wrote to publicly praise you for it then you will probably be dissapointed. however i dont see why that, or the expected drivel from people who dont care, should discourage you from posting good things.


You fucking idiot...

 

MeowTron
Posts: 1071
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:20 pm


Pure__Ignorance wrote :
Don't you love coincidence? This Hole thing reminded me of the Simpsons episode that ends with everyone digging for the cat burglar's treasure under the big 't' and they realise they're stuck. You know, and Homer says:

"I know! we'll DIG our way out!"

And then Chief Wiggins says "No, No! Dig UP, stupid!"

And then Last night The boy was watching The Simpsons and guess what episode it was?


nah go on tell us which one??!!!
Impious
Posts: 350
Joined: Mon May 28, 2007 12:22 pm


Nice story, I like it.

As I say, don't be so unimpathetic.
Last edited by Impious on Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:03 am, edited 2 times in total.

 

Apegod
Posts: 207
Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2005 8:02 pm


That's the spirit.

:evil:
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